Wednesday, July 25, 2007

Part II of II- Purified Heart + Percy Shelley + Zima = ???


3) Find some Zima, Bartles & James and/ or Sun Country Wine Coolers. Capful for you, and capful for that special one. Garbage cans, yards and the bike racks on 28th street are great sources for half drank bottles of these.

(EDITOR'S NOTE: Lots to discuss here. First, USC Squirrels would like to take this opportunity to once again share our strict no minor drinking alcohol policy.

Also, while we understand that alcohol in small amounts can work wonderfully as a social lubricant, please drink responsibly.

On another note, I think our resident former female squirrels' male squirrel is dating themselves. (Zima? Sure it was tasty and didn't slow you down, but now it's more of a Budweiser with Ginseng- sake bomb kinda world, right?)

And, just to be clear, don't be a JERK. When in doubt, remember that your parents (and maybe GOD) are watching you.)

4) In a public place, find a nice spot to have some quiet alone time. Offer a sip, recite the poem, look them in the eye, and tell them that you like them- A LOT!

(EDITOR'S NOTE: We think the idea here is to make sure they feel safe and unthreatened. We squirrels are definitely keyed up, and when in doubt, we will run like if scared. This may go for humans, as well. As for the rest, it speaks for itself.)

Tell us your thoughts!

1 comment:

Throckmorton T. Guildersleeve Mudducker IV said...

Always fascinating, ever delightful, consistently surprising....